Motherhood

30

To my 20 year old self on my 30th birthday…

So you are turning 20.  I remember it well.. Living in that tiny apartment.  You felt so lonely.  Matt was taking lots of classes at the seminary and you wondered if it was worth all the time you were spending alone.  (Heads up.. It totally was).

You are still feeling uneasy in your new city.  It’s not quite been a year since you moved.. And man was it a hard year.  Your parents divorced and the pain has been unreal.  You aren’t sure if life will feel normal again. (Heads up…It totally will)

During this last decade, I’ve learned that life changes and it changes fast.  I know change doesn’t come easy for you, but embrace it.  Big things will come if you open yourself up to something different and new.

So heads up… You are actually going to move again; no not 1/2 a block to a different apartment, (the pool is awesome!), but to a small town to plant a church.  I know you are thinking.. Plant a church?!  We haven’t even talked about that.. But God has a plan for you. You will plant a church and meet some amazing people.. You will learn so much about ministry and what it means to offer hospitality and listen to people who are going through hard things.  You’ll even start to understand why you have experienced certain trials.. Just so you can speak truth, love extravagantly and have a good ear.  You will buy a house, Matt will finish seminary and you’ll even have your first daughter.  (First?! Oh yes.. Just the first one)

The road will get bumpy and through some hard praying this season and this church will close.  It will be hard, but you will have a peace.  God will still be at work.  You will learn that growing and gaining wisdom doesn’t come without a price.

You’ll move out of that first house a bit more west with your now 3 year old daughter; 1 year old son and a new baby girl in your tummy.  (3?!). Those early days of feeling lonely are getting much better.  You’ve begun to realize your need for community and an amazing group of people live close by.  You feel a deep calling from the LORD to go.. So you go.

Side note… Embrace community! It’s much harder having friends as an adult but it is worth the effort.  Put yourself out IMG_0275there.. Open up and let people in.

Life is crazy.  Life with three children is a lot.  You will love to be home but your relationship with Matt will struggle.  In these long days you will have to learn more than ever to seek the Lord together and put your relationship as a top priority.  He needs you.. Not your leftovers. Love him well and remember what started it all.  Encourage him. Listen to him. Hug him tight.

Raising kids takes a lot physically and mentally .  Enjoy it though.  Soak up the story times, cuddles, rounds of Bingo and kitchen play. By the time you are almost 30 Your first little girl is  going to be in second grade , Your son a kindergartner, your Ruby girl  will be 2 1/2 and little Evie, 3 months.  (Yes you will have 4 kids!). You will need breaks though.. Don’t feel guilty about going to get a little time for yourself now and then.  You have to take care of yourself to be a good mom.  Surround yourself with people who are an encouragement to you.  You need that more than ever during these years.

Also, your day is going to be filled with difficult moments, although it will feel like your day is ruined, just take a deep breath and keep going. I know you feel any negativity ruins the whole day.  It doesn’t have to.

God is going to stretch you.  You will not always understand.  Seek the Lord… Love your husband.. Enjoy watching your kids as they grow and learn (did I forget to mention you will homeschool?!) Your 20s will be your best yet. Enjoy them.. Don’t waste them.  Be teachable. You don’t know everything yet.

There is so much more I want to tell you, but…You need a few surprises!image

Love,

Yourself.. On the day you turn 30

Monday Morning

I admit mornings are hard for me.  Not necessarily the getting up, but my expectation of what I hoped the morning would bring.

In my mind the morning brings exercise, devotion, shower, and a house clean and picked up, ready for the day. Yet, the reality most mornings is a 2 year old who gets up early every day and wants to be held, a nursing baby and typically a couple rather grumpy kids.  It’s usually a little crazy getting breakfast on the table and then there are beds to be made, a dishwasher to unload and breakfast spills to clean up. The kids need help getting dressed, they want my attention and are ready to play, the baby wants to nurse again and we should really start school.

It’s already 930 or later and my expectation of an ideal morning is not a reality once again. Or is that the case?  I’ve said before I chose these kids and in doing so I chose messes and much less time for myself BUT i also chose so much more. I chose those early morning snuggles with my little ones.  I chose getting to feed my family and make memories around the breakfast table.  I chose teaching children how to get up and get ready and begin their day in Gods word.  I chose to educate my kids.  Forming habits in my kids takes time. It takes consistency.  It takes repeating these steps every morning.

My kids are watching me as well.  How am I responding when things don’t go exactly my way?  I know how my kids respond.  I’ve been guilty so many times for getting upset at my kids for having a bad attitude and yet.. How was my attitude that day? So maybe your morning isn’t going how you prefer.. It is Monday after all.  Do what you can to adjust.  If there isn’t time to be in Gods word, pray or turn on a worship song.  If there isn’t time to exercise, plan to take a walk later on.

If you don’t have time for a shower…Put on fresh clothes and some mascara! 🙂

The day isn’t over at 9:30 AM.  This whole parenting thing isn’t a sprint.  There’s no way to get everything done in a short amount of time.  It’s much more like a marathon.  So, set a steady pace for yourself for the day, make some goals and enjoy. There are going to be bumps and detours.. Frustrations and even tears.  That’s just part of the adventure.  The reality of unmet expectation serve as a great reminder of our deep need of Jesus.

So lean on Him, hug your kids, turn on some music and Have a Happy Monday everyone!

Mother’s Day 2016

I woke up this morning to my 2 youngest in bed with me.  Soon after that my husband and Gracie brought in a wonderful breakfast, coffee and gifts.  I wore my handmade jewelry (gifts from my 2 oldest) to church today and have felt loved by countless drawings and notes.

It’s Mothers Day.

I’ve learned something over these years of celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom myself.  This day does not have to be perfect to be special. I don’t have to sit and do nothing today to feel loved and refreshed.  Today is a day to be thankful, to hug your kids tight and to remember what a gift this whole journey is.

Four times my stomach has stretched wide to carry my children.  My body now looks different and more worn. Yet, through those long months of pregnancy came my little Gracie, Levi, Ruby and Evie. My kids are not an inconvenience and I’m not missing out on anything because of them.  I chose them and I continue to choose them each day. I am not doing something unique or anything deserving of a medal. I’m just getting up one day at a time.  I’m making meals, cleaning messes, teaching reading and math and trying to point my little ones to Jesus. In this season of life there isn’t a lot of time for myself, and that’s ok.  I know this is a season.  I know that babies don’t keep and these years go fast.

I’ve been given 4 amazing gifts and I do not take this job lightly.  I’m here to teach, love, train, nourish and guide… I’m also hear for lots of hugs and back scratches, tickles and songs.

I’m a mom.  I’m so thankful.

Sometimes being a mother and it’s subsequent work can cause mothers to complain about daily life about the fact that we don’t have time to be selfish. And I get it… Motherhood is hard!  The days certainly are long and sometimes feel impossible.

But rather than seeing our kids as ornery little mess makers.. Let’s see them as ones seeking to find security in something.  They need us.  They need to be directed.  Can you believe God gave us this privilege, this incredible and unique privilege of Motherhood? To lead, shepherd and guide these little ones was given to us by God.

I pray we can see past the present situation and that we can see the bigger picture.  I pray that rather than complaining about our children, we pray for them.  I pray we use this season wisely with our kids. I do pray though that my other mom friends get a chance to breathe today.  Moments of rest make us better mothers. So let’s soak up our kids.  Let’s read books, play a game, go for a walk and really listen to them. And then Maybe take a nap or go get yourself a special coffee;) Happy Mothers Day everyone!

one of “those days”…

Last week I had a couple of really tough days.  The kids were extra difficult and my attitude was extra sour.   I just felt so frustrated.

As I loaded the laundry one morning with tears In My eyes…and picked up my house harboring anger and frustration… All I could think was, “Didn’t I just do this?? Isn’t this all I do? I just need a break!!”

When talking with my husband, he reminded me of how Paul talked about “those days”  in Ephesians 5… when he tells us to make the most of every opportunity ‘because the days are evil.”

Some days it feels impossible to “make the most of every opportunity” when we really feel like we just need a break though… A break that we aren’t going to get.  Some days we  have to persevere…. And on those  days I’m reminded of my very real need for Jesus. Those days I think and pray to Him through my teary frustration..  “Make me like you!”

When the yelling between kids won’t stop…Make me like you!

When the messes pile up more and more…Make me like you!

When it is taking every ounce of energy to calm a fussy baby…Make me like you!

So maybe that is why “those days” exist. Right now “those days”  with my children are my mission field.  The days are not always easy as our children are sinners in need of a Savior just like us… But This is what God is calling us to.  In Matthew 25:35 Jesus tells us:  

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.

If clothing the naked and feeding the hungry isn’t parenthood, I don’t know what is!

Parents, in our every day let us remember that our service to our children is service to our King! And in this sacrificial service we are the ones being changed, molded and refined to look more like Jesus.So today when we make yet one more pb and j.. Fold one more load of laundry and read the same story again and again.. Let’s do it with the love of Christ.

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