Quick Date

mandj1Last night Matt and I went out for a quick date to a local coffee shop.  It was only for 2 hours but for 2 hours we had a chance to breathe. I spend most of my hours mothering so it can be hard to remember at times another very important role… Being Matt’s wife. In Genesis 2, God tells us a man ‘leaves his wife and mother and cleaves to his wife, making them one flesh [paraphrase]. My leaving and cleaving come before my mothering.

Our current season is very full caring for our little ones but that is not an excuse for ignoring the relationship that started it all… 11 1/2 years ago! Early on Matt and I went on dates all the time,  prayed and studied the Bible together, we sent lots of emails and texts, physical touch was a large part of our relationship.  Then kids came and these things that we loved to do together became much more difficult.

It’s so easy to give our spouse our leftovers.

One of my biggest struggles is being grumpy at Matt if the kids are giving me a hard time.  He calls during the day to check on me and it’s easy to snap and be short. Often, the last thing I want is to be touched after I’m touched all day, so when Matt touches my shoulder I pull away. These are realities I’m trying to overcome.

Matt and I need to be connected to make this family run.  We have to be on the same side. So when he calls and it’s crazy at home I need to remind myself that this isn’t his fault.  He’s on my side. When he comes behind and touches me I need to remind myself… He needs touch too.  He’s been working all day.  He misses me.  We need to be close to stay connected.

When I think of him I need to let him know. When he leaves I need to give him a kiss.

We still need to pray together. We still need to laugh together. We still need to send encouraging texts and notes. We still need to be close.

And believe me… Just because I say “we need” does not mean I currently am. Our date last night was wonderful and we will have many, many more. About a year ago we committed a line item in our budget for that express purpose.  We knew that spending our money on regular times for us to be alone together was as vital as putting gas in our car and food in the fridge. It is impossible for our family to grow in strength, if the very foundation is crumbling.

So, remember what started it all but know it will be different now … and that’s ok.  The growing part isn’t always easy but things that are worth it seldom are.

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